Even among the BDSM community, there seems to be a divide on whether DD/lg and other Caregiver/little dynamics are harmless or ultimately unhealthy. It is taboo to so many people, primarily because there are lots of misconceptions about it. Before developing opinions about something, you always have to be well-informed first, so ask all the questions and do all the research.
Here are the most common misconceptions about DD/lg:
“It’s all about sex.”
DD/lg isn’t inherently sexual. Littles can submit without making it about sex because it is just being in that headspace of wanting to be nurtured and being innocent. They find it relaxing, enjoyable, or even therapeutic to relinquish control and independence. Daddies also love taking care of someone who has willingly become dependent on them. It is basically just the kink of wanting to take care of someone and someone wanting to be taken care of.
“Littles can’t make their own decisions.”
People who are into it don’t always make it their 24/7 lifestyle. This is somehow similar to a common misconception about BDSM in general. At the end of the day, they are still two consenting adults in a relationship, whether it is romantic or strictly sexual. An individual takes care of the nonsexual aspects of their adult life such as financial, social, or even medical decisions, unless it is something that they discussed beforehand that they would like to explore, and even then, safety and security always come first.
“The kink is hinged on sexualizing children.”
DD/lg is not about age. Littles can just be small or petite persons who like to submit, although it’s also possible for some Littles to be taller or older than their DD. It’s not about being children, but rather, wanting to be supported and taken care of where age play is not a prerequisite. Liking stuffed toys, cute things, and pastel colors aren’t restricted to a specific age group because anyone can be interested in those. DD/lg does not glorify nor support pedophilia in any way.
“It’s incestuous.”
The “Dominant Daddy” or “Mommy Dom” is generally an authoritative figure where the “Little Girl/Boy” is a submissive – that’s all there is. There are people who like DD/lg but aren’t into incestuous role play or even age play, so don’t generalize so quickly. To be fair, yes, there are overlaps between all these different kinks, but as a general idea, DD/lg in itself isn’t about incest as it is more centered on authority and submission.
“Littles are just immature.”
Many Littles tend to be those who already have so many responsibilities at work. After a long day of dealing with so many important things, leaving all the burden and worries at the door can feel so freeing. In this case, they want to be Littles precisely because they’re tired of mature responsibilities. The DD/lg lifestyle can be good for the mental wellbeing of both parties. Littles who are immature are immature individuals all by themselves, and not specifically caused by being in a DD/lg dynamic.
The thing about any kink whatsoever is that there isn’t really an official body who will give formal definitions to terminologies, and so boundaries and role descriptions tend to vary from one pair to another. There’s nothing wrong with that, since all couples should only do what they’re comfortable with and drop anything they don’t want to try. In the same way that no two romantic relationships are the same, no two Caregiver/little dynamics will ever be exactly similar either. Remember that everyone’s experiences are different, so you can’t make a sweeping generalization about anything.
