Like any profession, sex work has its own set of meanings to both common and uncommon words. We’ve broken down a bunch and added examples where needed. Please let us know if there are any we’ve missed out on or you think we should add!
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A
Active Income:
Refers to income from performing an active service, for example, cam, phone and text-based sessions. Active income is income you’re actively earning by engaging a client or client base.
Aftercare:
A period after the scene or play session where the participants decompress and transition from the scene back to reality.
Aftercare can involve looking after the body through blankets, applying balm to new bruises, drinking water and eating a snack to replenish the energy expended during the session. Or it can be through mental means by talking through the scene and verbally checking in with the partner about what they liked and what they’d want to do more/less next time.
Participants can experience subdrop or Domdrop/Topdrop if aftercare isn’t prioritised after play.
Ass to Mouth:
A term that describes when something, either a mouth, toy, or penis, is used on the ass and immediately after the mouth.
B
BDSM:
An initialism that breaks down into the types of play that usually contain a power component: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism
Blue Balls:
When someone with a penis has an erection for a long period of time without ejaculating, this can cause a swollen, painful feeling in the testicles.
Breath Control Play:
Controlling someone’s breathing through various means, for example, holding a hand over someone else’s mouth.
Butt Plug:
A butt plug is similar to a dildo in that it should be made of body-safe materials. However, since a butt plug is to stay in the anus without holding onto it, the toy MUST have a flared base to prevent the toy from getting lost in the anal cavity.
C
Chastity:
A form of erotic sexual denial or orgasm denial whereby a person is prevented from access to, or stimulation of, their genitals, save at the whim or choice of their partner, usually by means of a device (called a chastity belt or sometimes for men a cock cage) that prevents contact and is controlled by means of a lock by the partner.
Clothed Female, Naked Male (CFNM):
Very much what it says, a type of erotic content where the person that identifies as female is clothed and the males are nude.
Cock and Ball Torture (CBT):
Physical torture of the penis and balls for sexual gratification.
Collaring:
A formal acceptance by a dominant of a submissive or slave’s service.
D
Domme/Dom/Dominant:
The person that controls a scene or fetish activity. Usually, the one who is actively doing an activity to the sub.
The Dominant is sometimes said to have the ‘superior’ position or ‘all of the power’. However, subs have equal power within a scene, as all activity must be consensual and within both parties’ limits.
D/s: Dominance/submission:
A type of relationship that involves power exchange of a typically sexual nature.
Dungeon:
Usually, it refers to a room or area that has BDSM equipment and/or is a play space.
E
Edgeplay:
Orgasms: A sexual act where a person is brought to the edge of orgasm, allowed to calm down, and then repeated potentially an unlimited number of times. Edgeplay is commonly used in chastity as a means of orgasm control and denial.
BDSM: A type of edgeplay seen is RACK – play that is inherently dangerous, contains the possibility for short and/or long-term harm, and so extra care must be taken.
F
Facesitting:
A sexual activity where one partner sits on the other partner’s face. Depending on the partners, this can be known as queening or kinging. The act is typically done to allow oral-genital or oral-anal contact.
Facial:
A sexual activity where semen is ejaculated onto the face of another.
Female Domination:
Female domination, also commonly referred to as FemDom, is a BDSM favourite porn genre that refers to a BDSM scene or relationship in which a female is the dominant partner.
Fetish:
A specific obsession or delight in one object or experience directly related to sexual pleasure.
Fluffer:
A person who arouses and keeps pornographic actors aroused onset in order to prepare them to perform. Also, an idea commonly used in fantasies such as Cuckolding.
Financial Domination/FinDom/Money Slavery:
A fetish where submissives, also commonly referred to as money slaves, finsubs, pay piggies, human ATMs, or cash piggies, will give gifts and money to a financial dominant. The compensation they receive from giving money is the knowledge they’re giving money to their chosen person.
H
Hard limit (in BDSM):
A fetish, act, word or situation that is non-negotiable to someone. Something that they will absolutely under no circumstance do. Hard limits must be respected and not pushed.
M
Masochist:
Someone who sexually enjoys receiving pain.
O
OTK:
Over the knee, usually refers to spanking.
P
Passive Income:
Refers to income received from performing acts in the past that can make you money in the future with very little repeat effort, for example, making clips, audios or selling erotica on sites where you’ve previously uploaded the content, fill out the details and set a price. Clients can then purchase the content you’ve uploaded without extra work.
S
Sadist:
Someone who sexually enjoys inflicting pain, usually on a masochist.
Safeword:
A certain word that a bottom/submissive can use that will completely stop all activity, for example, ‘red’ is a classic safeword. Once this word has been said, the scene must be stopped, and aftercare is given.
Slave:
A person (usually submissive) who consensually gives up total control of one or more aspects of their life to another person (their Master).
Soft Limits (in BDSM):
An act or particular fetish that someone is hesitant or nervous to try but is willing to attempt with prior communication.
Submissive or “sub”:
A person who willingly gives up control for a prearranged period of time or set of conditions, for example, for all sexual scenes or only on the weekends.
Switch:
Someone who likes being both a top/Dom and a bottom/sub.
T
Tease and Denial:
An act of both teasing another person and keeping them in a constant state of denial. It can be used to keep someone in a state of anticipation and conflict and to heighten sensitivity.
TPE or Total Power Exchange:
A type of relationship where the dominant or owner has total authority over the submissive’s life.
V
Vanilla:
Typically used to refer to someone who isn’t into BDSM/kink/fetish play.
W
Wax Play:
A body-safe BDSM-approved candle that, when left to melt, can be dripped over various body parts.