I was sixteen, with my first partner, and terrified. There was no objective reason; My partner was loving and we had both mutually agreed the time was right, we’d done the research, had the equipment, and even secured time without my parents at home. The internet was a great ally. ‘Is your first time painful?’
Bodies are a peculiar thing. Sometimes we may want something from them so badly but they just will not co-operate. This is a fact that people with Vaginismus confront daily.
Getting hot and heavy with your partner, bodies meshed in a sweaty clamour of desire, you find yourself reaching that threshold before the release. It builds, swells inside of you. You close your eyes to revel in that point where your body finally tips over the edge but, suddenly, nothing. Complete and utter bodily apathy. No matter how much you want it—no matter how close you are—you can’t reach that ever-familiar climax that you adore so much. What is happening? You’ve just started taking antidepressants, but this isn’t meant to happen…is it? Unfortunately, the answer is more complex than a…
Whereas in the past fringe genders and the gender spectrum itself have struggled to gain validation we are slowly, but very surely, making progress when it comes to the acknowledgement and inclusion of the many rather than relying on gender norms. The same can be said about gender equality, which is being approached and considered with new (and broader) cultural vigour. But the inclusion and equality of all genders doesn’t discredit the validity of cisgender, heterosexual identity, nor dynamics and, in this framework, sometimes it’s still some people’s extreme desire to treat their lady (or to be treated as such).
Oh, and if your family happens (like mine did) to bestow upon you some 19th century nipple clamps just remember to look, not sample: the idea might be near-irresistible, but most historic pieces have had their time when it comes to practical use.