In my house sex toys are littered everywhere. If you come to visit there’s a pretty good chance you’ll find yourself either next to a sparkly dildo or talking about a branch of sexuality (my go-to is disability and sexuality). To some sex toys strike fear, shame and embarrassment, and they shouldn’t. Sex toys are harmless, it’s just the aggressive branding, and marketing that makes you think otherwise.
Start Small & Simple
There are hundreds upon thousands of sex toys out there to peruse. There are toys with vibrations, toys that thrust by themselves, and toys that look like they should be glass figurines. There is no need to jump in at the deep end. Look at popular websites, and find something that attracts to you, find something to interested in, and find something you’re curious about. Maybe start with a simple bullet if you’re after vibrations or a slim silicone dildo.
It doesn’t need to be a big, and complicated – what’s that saying? Bigger doesn’t always mean better? It applies to sex toys too.
Take your Time
As sex toys come in all different shapes and sizes, it takes time to get used to them. There’s a whole range of toys on the market. Some are made for the size queens, someone made for those that love vibrations – and there are different types of vibrations, and some are made to deposit eggs in orifices (not for the squeamish to Google). It’s amazing what sex toys can often do nowadays.
With all this in mind, it okay to take time to find out what you like and what you don’t like. It took me time, and it takes everyone time. At the end of the day, if you don’t like a toy straightaway, you can always come back to it, or if it’s somewhere like LoveHoney you can return it.
There are all types of toys nowadays, for all different types of bodies. I blog about sex with disabilities, because I know the needs of someone with a disability can be far different from the needs of someone that able-bodied. By going solo you’re giving yourself time to find out what you like, and that’s not a bad thing. Communicate with your partner first, tell them you want to do this then maybe look at the toys together, see what you’re both intrigued by, and give it ago.
In every piece I write about sex, there’s a very good chance communication will always feature. Why? Because it is the single most important thing within sex. Communication paves the path to talk about consent, whether or not you like something, how you’re feeling if you need to change something up, or even if you’re really enjoying something.
There are so many toys on the market, that if you try one and you don’t like it you can always try another. Each year the sex toy industry gets more and more diverse, as they listen to the people that use them, so they can tweak them in order for you to have a better experience. Sure, there are some products on the market that are exorbitantly expensive, and sometimes that’s really not worth the cost, as long as the toy is body-safe, compatible with the lube you’re using, and you like it, the costs shouldn’t matter.
At the end of the day, they are just sex toys. It doesn’t matter if everyone raves about a particular product, and you hate it. That’s allowed because everyone is different, everyone’s needs are different, everyone’s body is different.