Flirtation is better than sex.

I enjoy the dance. The thrill. The ‘heart pounding in chest’ feeling because someone you’re attracted to is near.

I enjoy the dance. The thrill. The ‘heart pounding in chest’ feeling because someone you’re attracted to is near, far better than sex. Don’t get me wrong, I love sex, but there’s just something about the lead up to the act that is far more intoxicating.

It helps that flirtation is accessible to me. It uses up less energy than sex, and a well-placed look can make heat pool in my belly quicker than hands fumbling to find my clit. I can flirt on my phone, in a hospital bed, or over dinner. I’ve done the dance so many times, in so many different forms, and it never gets old.

Flirtation draws everything out. Sex is quick, over in the blink of an eye when you think about it, but flirtation can last days, weeks, months, and even years. Flirtation has different flavours, and types. A stranger will stoke the fires slower than a fuck buddy, and a fuck buddy slower than a partner. But, at the same time sometimes the flirtation of a fuck buddy is exactly what you need – as I said, flavours.

The best part is that everyone flirts differently – they have their own language. My favourite type of flirtation is when it hurts. When I get too caught up, and there’s a deep ache in my chest. Nowadays, it usually happens when I’m 10 hours deep into a smutty story, or when I’ve been texting my partner exactly what I’m going to do to him for days when he’s away, but I fondly remember hazy nights of teasing. Pain from flirtation is the type of pain that demands my complete attention, and who am I to deny pain? Pain is my entire world, and in a perverted way, pain is my Mistress. I submit myself to her day in and out – after all, it’s the only way we can coexist. But this pain, this ache, is one that I willingly submit myself to time, and time again. It’s one I encourage because it is delicious.

Masturbation Monday


  1. I am hopeless as a flirt. I feel lost and anxious and completely unsettled. Which makes this fascinating to me. And also, flirting as accessibility makes complete sense, although I’d never considered it before (gotta love when a blind spot becomes obvious).

    But what I definitely recognize and relate to in this is that (although I’ve never given it much thought before this moment) I get a similar kind of rush when I’m being pursued and wooed by someone else…maybe it’s something about how I am as a submissive? Or maybe it soothes my anxiety…because there are still plenty of unanswered/unknowable questions but none of them are about the other person’s desire. You’ve given me a lot to think about…thank you!

  2. I think flirting is wonderful, but I’m so rubbish at it. I’m no good at reading the signals, and I always second guess my intuition. The way you describe flirting here, though, makes me want to try it more often. ?

  3. I love getting caught up in flirtation. The thrill and the ache and the longing. Wanting and feeling wanted back. It is pure sweet hurt in the best way it can be delivered.

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