I was sixteen, with my first partner, and terrified. There was no objective reason; My partner was loving and we had both mutually agreed the time was right, we’d done the research, had the equipment, and even secured time without my parents at home. The internet was a great ally. ‘Is your first time painful?’
Bodies are a peculiar thing. Sometimes we may want something from them so badly but they just will not co-operate. This is a fact that people with Vaginismus confront daily.
Getting hot and heavy with your partner, bodies meshed in a sweaty clamour of desire, you find yourself reaching that threshold before the release. It builds, swells inside of you. You close your eyes to revel in that point where your body finally tips over the edge but, suddenly, nothing. Complete and utter bodily apathy. No matter how much you want it—no matter how close you are—you can’t reach that ever-familiar climax that you adore so much. What is happening?…
Sex and chronic illness are not completely incompatible, and your needs as an individual matter. What’s more, sometimes sex can cause a release of chemicals that decreases pain for a few hours afterwards. In short, effective sex is therapeutic, in more ways than one, so let’s look at how to make it a possibility.