A little while ago I was on Twitter, as I often am on a day to day basis and I saw someone tweet a photo of a person, laying on their side in bed, with period blood on their pants with the caption, “what would you do if this was your partner?”
Fascinated by the replies, I went ahead and clicked and I was met with some… interesting responses to say the least. A few saying it was disgusting (it’s not), a few saying that they wouldn’t know what to do or how to react if that was their partner.
But the answer that made me (and many others) laugh the most, went a little something like this:
“I would gently wake them up and carry them to a warm, candlelit bath. I would bathe them and dry them and carry them back to bed with an extra blanket. I’d make them a herbal tea and stay up with them all night to make sure they’re comfy. In the morning, I would help them downstairs and make them breakfast…”
You get my gist. And the reply that had me howling was when someone kindly pointed out to this person that they’ve got a period… they’re not elderly.
Which got me thinking, how would I react if someone did that to ME when I had my period? Honestly, I think I’d want to punch them. I don’t know about anyone else but periods make me grouchy and agitated. Having someone in the same room as me is enough to send me over the edge sometimes.
So today I wanted to share some different ways you can assist your partner when they’re on their period. Because all jokes aside, periods can be rough. There are a lot of side effects and they can really make people feel genuinely awful.
Educate yourself first.
A great and simple way to assist your partner when they’re on their period is by educating yourself fully on periods and the effect they can have on the body. Physically, mentally and emotionally. If you don’t have periods yourself, it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to understand how they feel. And the fact that they don’t just last the 4 days you’re actually bleeding – the effects can start way before then.
Ask them what they need from you.
Please don’t go treating your partner like an old aged pensioner without their permission. If they don’t want you interfering when they have their period, don’t. Perhaps see what else you can do instead. If physically they don’t want or need any help, perhaps they might want you to pick some movies for a movie night or just listen to them rant instead.
Don’t judge them for crying or getting emotional.
Periods can bring up a lot of emotions. I remember in the days before my period would start, my hormones would be on the floor and I’d feel awful. Chances are, your partners mood might have altered slightly before or during their period. Remember this is normal, no reflection on you and they absolutely shouldn’t be judged for it.
Don’t make it all about you.
Periods suck for the person that’s having them. So if that’s your partner and they do go through a spell of out of control hormones or terrible cramps or not feeling like going anywhere or doing anything because of their period, do not make it all about you.
Discourage menstrual taboos.
For some weird reason unbeknownst to me, there are still a number of taboos around periods and menstruation. If this is the case with a member of yours or your partners family or perhaps a friend, be wary of any time spent with them. Either avoid seeing them whilst your partner is on their period to avoid further upset or speak up when they say something out of turn.
Provide physical comfort with consent.
Physical comfort can feel really nice when you’re on your period. When you’re extra sleepy and want to cuddle your partner and have a nap. Or getting a back rub from the discomfort your period is causing you. Or a head rub from a period-induced headache.
So the next time your partner is on their period, try some of these things to help assist them and make them feel that little bit better during their time of the month.